


sobieski

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Natasha Romanov, Fluff, Gen, Inspired By Tumblr, IronWidow - Freeform, M/M, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Oblivious Tony, Pining, Russian Natasha Romanov, she drinks a lot of vodka, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 10:39:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18892957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: “Natasha, I am in crisis mode,” Tony said calmly, pushing Natasha’s door open and hoping that she didn’t stab him. “Help me.”Natasha didn’t even look up from where she was sitting on the sofa, sharpening her knife. “Did you bring vodka?”“Only the best twelve dollar vodka for my favorite Russian,” Tony wheedled. “Please, Nat, I’m dying here.”"I thought Barnes was your favorite Russian?"





	sobieski

**Author's Note:**

> for anon on tumblr: "50, tonynat bromance w/ winteriron? thx :)" (50- this is girl talk, so leave)
> 
> title: sobieski is a cheap vodka brand that my dad loves, its like 12 dollars and im bad at titles okay
> 
> enjoy!

“Natasha, I am in crisis mode,” Tony said calmly, pushing Natasha’s door open and hoping that she didn’t stab him. “Help me.”

 

Natasha didn’t even look up from where she was sitting on the sofa, sharpening her knife. “Did you bring vodka?”

 

“Only the best twelve dollar vodka for my favorite Russian,” Tony wheedled. “Please, Nat, I’m dying here.”

 

“I thought Barnes was your favorite Russian,” she teased, motioning for him to come inside. “What’s the problem?”

 

“ _ He is the entire problem _ .”

 

Very few people knew it, but Natasha was an absolute  _ fiend  _ for gossip. Tony was banking on it to get her to help him. “Do tell,” she said predictably, putting her knife away. “And pass me the vodka. I’m guessing we need to be drunk for this.”

 

Tony closed the door and flopped next to her, handing over the bottle. “I’m pretty sure he’s flirting with me.”

 

“And that’s an issue?” she took a long sip. “You’re absolutely gone on him.”

 

“He has never shown a sign on liking me, which,  _ fine _ , I can handle rejection,” Tony explained. “Then, out of nowhere today, he propositioned me over lunch.”

 

“Did you say yes?”

 

“ _ Natasha _ .”

 

“So you ran away like a scared little mouse. Good to know.” 

 

Tony groaned. “I’m pretty sure he’s possessed, or something. It just doesn’t make  _ sense _ ! I’m a genius, Nat, I should be able to figure this out!”

 

“You’re utterly hopeless when it comes to feelings,” she pointed out. “Sure, you can recognize desire and greed and all that, but you don’t understand affection.”

 

“Come at me like that, why don’t you,” he grumbled, burying his head in her shoulder. Surprisingly, she allowed it, just taking another drink.

 

Natasha flicked his forehead. “He’s been flirting with you for months,  _ Antoshka _ .”

 

“That’s not true,” Tony denied instantly. “That’s patently false, actually. He’s been planning my murder; his face gives him away. Trust me, I’m very skilled at telling when people want to murder me.”

 

“ _ I  _ want to murder you,” she hissed under her breath. “You oblivious idiot, who do you think has been leaving you food on your lab benders and buying you flowers when he leaves the Tower because they  _ remind him of you _ ?”

 

“Platonically!” Tony defended. “I brought him that magnet set last month, remember?”

 

“You have a crush on him the size of Strange’s ego.”

 

Realization dawned on Tony’s face. “Wait,  _ Bucky’s  _ been leaving me food? I didn’t even know he could cook!”

 

Natasha smacked him. “You,” she pointed the empty bottle at him. “Are hopeless. And you better have more vodka; I literally cannot deal with this without being drunk.”

 

Wordlessly, Tony passed over a second bottle. He was well-acquainted with Natasha’s alcohol tolerance and had packed accordingly. A knock on the door had him squeaking and trying to hide himself behind her. 

 

“ _ He’s stalking me to kill me _ ,” he whispered. “But, god, what a way to go.”

 

Natasha smirked evilly. “Come in,” she called pleasantly. 

 

Tony snatched the vodka back. “You don’t deserve this,” he hissed as the door opened. 

 

Bucky peeked his head in. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked. 

 

“Yes,” answered Tony. “This is girl talk, so leave.”

 

Natasha smacked him again. “Barnes, stay,” she ordered. 

 

“What am I, your dog?” Bucky grumbled, but he stayed. 

 

“Come sort things out with this idiot,” she waved a hand at Tony, who was trying to sneak off the sofa and out of the room. “Don’t be subtle; he will miss it entirely.”

 

“That is so hurtful,” said Tony. 

 

“I am going to the gym,” she said, standing and tossing a meaningful stare at both men. “Don’t fuck in my living room.”

 

“What the-  _ Natasha _ !” Tony spluttered. Bucky was just turning an alarming shade of red. 

 

She brushed against Bucky as she passed. “Hurt him and they will never find the little pieces of your corpse that I will scatter around the globe.” He nodded in acknowledgement.

 

The door swung shut behind Natasha, leaving Tony and Bucky alone in somewhat awkward silence.

 

“So,” Tony started. “Nice weather we’ve been having.”

 

At the same time, Bucky said, “Step out with me?”

 

Tony blinked owlishly. “Are you serious?” 

 

“Is that a no?” Beneath Bucky’s confident smirk was a layer of insecurity.

 

“Of course not,” said Tony. “It’s more of a  _ I’m pretty sure that you’re making a bad decision but it benefits me so I’m going to stay quiet  _ statement, really.”

 

Bucky smiled and Tony felt his heart skip a beat or two. “Well,” he teased. “As long as it isn’t a no.”

 

“It’s a yes,” Tony confirmed. Bucky was right in front of him; Tony wasn’t sure when he had gotten so close. “Out of curiosity, what’s your policy on the three date rule?”

 

‘I have no idea what that is,” Bucky breathed, his nose brushing Tony’s. 

 

“Good, that’s reason enough to throw it out the window,” Tony leaned the rest of the way forward, catching Bucky’s lips in a soft kiss. He lost himself in the feeling, winding his fingers through Bucky’s long hair. 

 

JARVIS made a noise like he was clearing his electronic throat, making Tony pull away. “Agent Romanov has asked that I remind you not to have intercourse in her quarters,” he said, somewhat disapproving.

 

“Want to take this somewhere else?” Bucky purred in Tony’s ear.

 

As they left, Tony made a mental note to buy Natasha more vodka. She had earned it.

**Author's Note:**

> come shout at me on tumblr (imposter-human)!
> 
> comments and kudos make me smile


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